“We Couldn’t Have Done It Without Them” Says Beulah Omar

Having soundly defeated Russia & the United States in back to back knockouts of reigning superpowers, the Taliban gave a tip of the hat to former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle & his favorite coffee boy, Michael “Mikey” Pompeo. 

“For so long,” Omar began, “we have been marginalized & dismissed as terrorists until Misters Pompeo & Turdwaffle gave us legitimacy & a seat at the table. Now, pass me the lamb.”