“We Need New Leadership,” Lying Criminal Asshole Proclaims

“We must take back our country from the woke mob that refuses to accept our realities,” newly-seated New York representative “Lonesome” George DeSantis posted to Truth Social during the fifth attempt by Kevin “Home Alone” McCarthy to replace House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who stepped down as Democratic leader following the 2022 “Repugnicunt Pink Spotting,” which many marginally intelligent humans suspect signals the end of 40 years of Supply-Side Plantation Economics and Nazi moderation ushered in during the #Nancygate Reagan administration.

DeSantos argues that only the former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and serial grifter Grabito Pussolini can unite Repugnicunt #AltWhite supremacists to do battle against the violent majority of wimpy liberals and progressives who want to make the country better for everyone. 

“Am I not everyone?” DeSantos asked his colleagues on the House floor moments ago, upon which the gallery erupted in knee-slapping guffaws.

“How dare you?” DeSantos shouted, evoking the devastating response Andrew Tate gave to a Greta Thunberg retweet shortly before he was arrested in Romania for sex-trafficking, a favorite Repugnicunt hobby.