Big Guy Says He Knows What He Likes And He Just Don’t Like Us

“I’m tired of you assholes blaming me for all your dumb ass shit,” the creator of the universe tweeted before being banned on Twitter for violating the rules against hateful thinking.

“Fuck you guys,” He promptly wrote to Twitter Support, using their appeals page, saying He had no intention of re-energizing their failed enterprise with His heavenly presence and there was absolutely nothing they could do to save their doomed deluded non-existent souls.

Then He farted enough methane to cut two years off the projected 2030 date for this planet becoming unfit, once again, for human habitation, before He told Putin to invade Ukraine, laughing like Alan Ginsburg until His omniscient testicles swayed in an Instagram post like tiny buddhas.