“Anti-Trumpers Are Really Anti-Science Antifa” Says Flibbertigibbetarian

Citing previous allegations he made suggesting scientists hate Trump so much they won’t study whether a cocktail Viagra & ivermecton can be used to embalm COVID patients, Kentucky’s favorite dustmop Rand Paul today blamed recent catastrophic weather events on ”godless Trump-hating liberals, antifa, Black Lives Matter, & the #MeToo movement.”

“This is all just one of Newton’s laws in action,” Paul pontificated, “driven by nabobs of negativity who have proliferated like subterranean rodent sphincters .”