QAnon Amos’s Lawyer Claims He Was Seduced By The Former President

Last Friday, after the insurrectionist formerly known as the QAnon Shaman pled guilty to obstruction for his role in storming the Capitol on January 6, his lawyer Clarice Darpa argued that her incel client “had a fondness for Trump that was not unlike the first love a man may have for a girl, or a girl for a man, or a man for a man, or a girl for a horse, or a young stud for his priest or scoutmaster.

“The first love always, always maintains a tender and soft spot in the heart of the unrequited lover,” Darpa added, noting that Shandling was particularly upset that Mr. Trump would neither pardon QAnon Amos nor consent to a paternity test.

Turdwaffle was not contacted to comment on this breaking story that our source insists everyone on the Internet had been talking about for at least 20 minutes now.