Turdwaffle Hangs Up & Calls His Feckless Lawyers To See What He Can Sue For

After former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and committed insurrectionist Donald J. Turdwaffle’s first interview with an actual journalist since his failed coup on January 6, 2021 ended with the doddering dimwit hanging up on Steve Innskeep, leaders in the new GOP Moronic Movement were quick to praise their blithering blowhard & blast National Public Radio for airing the embarrassing conservation.

“I never liked Pubic Radio,” said Louie Louie Gohmert, “I’m surprised I can even say that on the telephone.”

“It’s not Pubic. It’s Public,” corrected our intrepid stringer Paul Bare. “It’s the people’s radio, supported almost entirely by member contributions, unlike the corporate media, which is supported solely by right-wing ideologues and Christian deserters.”

“Says who? Says who?” Gohmert stammered.

“Says everybody with half a brain & elementary school level reading skills,” Bare shot back.

Bare noted that the former president spent nine minutes of a scheduled fifteen minute interview spewing the same election lies that had been shot down by every rational and legal forum in the country.

What apparently upset Mr. Turdwaffle so much he abruptly ended the interview was when Innskeep responded to Turdwaffle’s question of how 80 million people could have voted for Biden when Turdwaffle’s rallies had thousands of idiots wearing his hats and tee-shirts while Biden hardly campaigned.

Innskeep said simply: “If you’ll forgive me, maybe because the election was about you and nobody likes you. Americans hate bullies.”

Aides say they had to restrain the former führer from exercising his Second Amendment right to stand his ground.

“We don’t care what everybody says,” Gohmert said, “We’re the party of American family values & the silent majority, & nobody can beat that combination.”