Damon Wayans To Star As “Long John COVID” & Start Shooting Real Soon Now In A Hospital Near You

“Somebody had to do it,” explained studio executive Kenan Wayans to a naive & inexperienced entertainment intern who recently purchased her credentials from Yossarian Universal News Service.

Yes, it’s true. You too can purchase you own personalized official YU Press Card, the same one tens of millions of amused citizens around the world have enjoyed using to report on concerts or research movie reviews since Old Rummy Reagan was in office.

Think of it. With your own official press credentials, you couldn’t do any worse on things that may actually matter than most of the shitters you read, right?

Your first assignment, of course, is to track down everyone in the Wayans family to get to the bottom of this story, which is hinted at in the title of this post.