…But Why Should I Have To Get A Gun To Protect Myself From Good Or Bad Projectile Addicted Varmints Who Like To Shoot Holes In Shit?

Let’s discuss today’s #ExistentialTrickQuestion class.

Last I checked, gun ownership in America has always appealed to a rabidly loud and lower class market segment who think God put us on this Earth to populate this nation of miserable fucks with dumb people who don’t mind going deaf or bleeding out, if it means some liberal snowflake is made uncomfortable by #AmericanCarnage.

In 2020, even after a 40-year campaign by the NRA and GOP to make America safe enough from the International Criminal Court to dominate the global weapons and munitions market segment, fewer than 30% of our most miserable fucks actually owned weapons, although some owned hundreds more than others, which is why there are 30-40 million more unregistered firearms in the US today than there are registered voters.

Some gun rights proponents have proposed extending voting rights to firearms and implanting fully-functional miniature AR15s in pregnant mothers in various shit hole states so that God’s tiny little soldiers can defend themselves against unwanted termination by their whiny-ass mothers unlucky enough to live in one of our burgeoning religious community police states.

I heard some kid arguing with some other kid outside Chinese Wanton Eats the other day about the recent decision by voters in Oregon to begin some common sense gun control. One kid said: “Thou shalt not kill.” The other kid said: “Who ever met anyone met Thou?” Brief fisticuffs ensued until one’s older sister smacked the shit out of both of them.

Can’t we just round up all the fucking idiots who need guns to give their lives some meaning and put them all on the reservations formerly occupied by the last of the indigenous people we slaughtered for fun and profit and let them have at it? You know, the ones we can’t talk about, because bygones and shit?

I don’t need them around me. If you do, what’s your problem?