We Can’t Let These Godless Woke Zygotes Get Us Down

“This is an abomination in the eyes of our Lord,” said Mark “Whitey” Gietzen, addressing the recent landslide victory for opponents of the kind of fascist theocrats St. Frank Zappa warned us about during Old Rummy Reagan’s administration, “such as He sent a message to Sodom and Gomorrah that the liberal woke mob has yet to fully understand.”

Although a recount has already demonstrated that the 18% margin of victory in perserving a women’s right to choose was probably the result of undercounts in blue areas of the state, it did prove that even Kansans think women have the right to bodily autonomy, and fuck your God.

If your God is not available to be fucked, tell your neighbors that I threatened to fuck their God.

The results will be the same.

Americans are the germs of devotion.