Agents Remove Two Reams Of Classified Material Reported Missing By The National Archives

Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and America’s favorite neo-Nazi Grabito Pussolini’s vice president, Mikey “ e’ll Eat Anything” Pence expressed surprise when confronted by the liberal media over reports that several dozen documents bearing confidential, secret  and top secret markings were recovered from his lower intestine during his annual wellness exam at the Kellog Terminal Dumbass Clinic in Valparaiso.

“I have no idea how those got there,” the robotic Christian Culture Warrior remarked, adding, “You’ll have to ask mother. She knows where all the skeletons are kept."