These Are The Kinds Of Questions God Wonders About, Chapter 25, Verse 3

You know there’s a lot I’ve been involved with. I’m always involved with a lot of things, occasionally good, usually great actually, but sometimes not so great, and this Middle East peace thing is one of the most embarrassing decisions I’ve ever been involved with.

I let Jared try his magic on it for a small commission, but that didn’t go too well. I’m still waiting on approval for my Wailing Wall Golf Resort. I never understood ping-pong diplomacy. Golf makes much more sense.

We’ve never had a decision, in my opinion, it was the worst decision that we’ve never had. How can anyone not make such a bad decision? It was quicksand, quicksand. You know quicksand? It used to be everywhere, but now not so much.

Remember when people were running from dinosaurs and got stuck in quicksand?

And cowboys. Cowboys were always getting stuck in quicksand and needed someone to throw a rope to pull them out, just before their noses slipped under the quicksand, but the bad hombres. I always wanted the bad hombres to sink in that quicksand & die just to teach them a lesson.

And you think we would have learned from all that quicksand back when America was great. We shouldn’t have ever gone in, but if we did, I’m telling you. We should’ve gone in, knocked the hell out of it.

We should have killed all the bad hombres and their wives and children. The grandparents were no angels either. Look who they raised. We should have bombed their neighbors. If they didn’t like it, too bad. We’re America. We do what’s right and if you get in our way you’ll be sorry.

I met a general, his name was general something, something military, Marshall maybe? I don’t even know, maybe he’s not even on my side, our side, who the hell knows with these generals?

I know more than all of the generals combined. All the generals report to me. That’s right in The Constitution. What the president says goes. When the president says go, you don’t ask “Where sir?” You say “Yes sir! We’re on it, sir!”

When I get through with this guy Milley, I mean, how about Milley? Who the hell does that fucking idiot think he is?