Ain’t No Jive-Ass Cracker NDA Gonna Keep This Uppity Mouth Shut

Fresh off an arbitrator’s ruling that former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & Russian collaborator Donald J. Turdwaffle’s boilerplate non-disclosure, non-disparagement, & non-compete agreements are not worth the zeroes & ones it takes to e-mail them, Omarosa Hunter-Gault told the Rev.  Chuck Sharpton Sunday that Turdwaffle may not “be healthy enough to run in 2024,” leading some to believe she was announcing her candidacy.

Instead, Omarosa expressed concern “for the dignity of man and the destiny of these United States if the same dumb Americans vote for his diseased ass again. The man needs to fess up to his colonic obstruction problems,” alluding to persistent rumors that America’s bankruptcy czar sleeps with his head tucked up his ass, a yoga pose he learned from Melania.

Trump responded to the allegations by filing suit against Twitter to reinstate his account so he can properly respond “to these spurrulous accretions. I am being deprived of my basic executive rights.”