LaPierre Calls Proposed Legislation Common Sense

“I don’t know about you,” one of America’s favorite untouchable leaders told a gathering of slobbering gun aficionados protesting protestors of one of our nation of miserable fucks’ recent mass school shootings, “but I’m not willing to bet my health & welfare on standing my ground between a steel-jacketed round & its pre-ordained destination. If God had meant for Americans to be immune to random projectiles, He would have created us all body armor during the first trimester.”