Presidential Pup Apprehended With MAGA Supporter In His Teeth

Congressional Republicans are calling for an investigation into recent attacks by Major on members of the White Supremacist Caucus. “As former president George Bush liked to say,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel said Monday on the floor of the Senate, “Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice & we’ll take away your voting privileges."

“Come on, man,” the President responded. “You can’t fault a trained antifa attack dog for following his instincts. The White House is now officially a no-Nazi zone, and Champ & Major are here to ensure that no more incidents like the one on January 6, 2021 will occur on my watch. The minority leader would better spend his time & energy warning his Nazis to stay away from the people’s house."

Major, a 3-year-old German shepherd adopted from an #Antifa rescue shelter by the Bidens in 2018, has been trained to protect the first family from Nazis, white supremacists, & other dead-enders of the Reagan legacy’s supply side plantation economy. “He can detect these nimrods from several football fields away,” said a source close to the White House who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to lie.  "In this case, he nipped the right buttock of a National Park Service employee who was concealing a MAGA cap in his back pocket. Major was treated for possible infection & the employee promptly dismissed."