Dr. Phillip Pihl-Hill

Consulting Enabler

Pataphysical Medical Syndrome

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WASHINGTON (PMS) – To help the public refocus its attention on George W. Bush's reelection campaign war against John Kerry and the memory of JFK, National Sekurity Deviser Condomsqueezer Rice today announced a new intelligence initiative aimed at “dispelling unhelpful rumors by providing irrelevant facts,” according to administration buzzword translation software.

Dr. Rice and Secretary of  Defensiveness Ronald C. “Beans” McRumsfeld have come under intense criticism in recent weeks for their roles in the torture and killing of thousands of detainees in an administrative exercise of a foreign policy broadcast with glee through a product placement arrangement with the GOP’s FOX News: All War All The Time subsidiary.

With hourly releases of new revelations of crimes against humanity committed by Ubu and his minions in their never-ending battle to retain power and make the rich richer while wiping out the unnecessary poor, Rice and Beans have accelerated deployment of new domestic press briefing units in abandoned relocation and reeducation centers used during The Greatest Generation to house suspected foreign-born enemies of the state.

As part of its commitment to keeping the channels of communication open, all journalists have been invited to attend a top-secret special briefing at…