Jesus Comes Out As LGBTQ

Apologizing for His delay in coming back to gather up the faithful as many widely believe He promised 2021 years ago, the Son Of God expressed surprise at the rabid hordes of straight, dull, assholes who claim to believe in Him while acting in diametric opposition to his message of peace, free love, & understanding.

“Maybe I should have written more shit down & not trusted those horny groupies to do the job. They have obviously fucked up everything. What do you expect from a bunch of lazy semite fishermen?”