Turdwaffle & Son Unaware Of Allegedly deceased Terrorists Laughing Three Rows Behind Them

Osama bin Laden made a rare appearance at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida on the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, sitting three rows behind former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle and his alternative autistic son Little Don.

Mr. bin Laden, who owns a vacation condo in Miami, a predominantly liberal Democratic city on the South Florida coast, is believed to chiefly reside in Arizona, where he entered the witness protection program in October, 2001, after pleading not guilty on the Judge Judy Show to charges related to the destruction of three commercial aircraft while pursuing justice for the extrajudicial murder of his godfather, Salvador “Salami Sal” Allende by the CIA in Chile 28 years earlier.

Mr. bin Laden was accompanied by QAnon “Solly” Soleimani, Ayman al-Zawahiri, Rafhsan Hashemi bin Khesi, Nabih Beri, and Paul Fericano, fugitive co-founder of Yossarian Universal News Service, who has recently been implicated in mobilizing a worldwide movement of alternative journalism by issuing bogus press credentials to anyone with $50, a passport sized photo, and an active Tik Tok account. Teenagers are often given credentials at a discount, if they have participated in online activities that embarrass our planet’s shameless ruling class.

Turdwaffle and Little Don declined comment on the presence of six of the most wanted deceased terrorist masterminds at the ring, complaining that the match had been rigged, leading to him and his son losing more than $150 million wagered on Holyfield to win on a split decision after 12 rounds.

Unfortunately, the 58-year-old one-eared boxing legend slipped 30 seconds into the first round while attempting to throw a right jab, falling through the ropes and knocking himself unconscious on the floor outside the ring.