Pataphysicians Call It The Crowley Clap

As a Darwinian percentage of supposedly educated human beings continue to reject vaccines & other measures developed to slow the spread of a highly contagious disease that kills 2% of those it first makes mad, Dr. Faustroll’s crack team of epidemonologists, led by Dr. Joe Louis Pasteur, are now hypothethizing that several dozen coronavirus variants currently circulating, uncontained, have developed a resistance to ordinary rational examination.

“Perhaps most surprising of all our findings,” said Pasteur, “is the passionate intensity of entrenched stupidity across all party lines in our nation of miserable fucks, proving once again that politics truly is poopadoodle.”

Pasteur recommends that all his patients undergo autoclaving, followed by the application of full-body prophylaxis and an extended convalescence at a location yet to be announced.