My #Alt-Reich Junk Email Box Has Four Turdwaffle Shit Shop Ads This Morning

The twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator must be facing some massive legal bills, considering his pleas for funds have doubled or tripled in recent weeks.

So it comes as no surprise that hours after he left the stage in Conroe, Texas, where he encouraged thousands of his well-armed uneducated nimrods to overthrow the government & reinstate him,  if andwhen state & federal prosecutors finally start indicting his fascist ass for a lifetime of criminal activity, that he’d be hawking luxury coffee, bathrobes, smelly stuff (that his unvaccinated minions can’t appreciate because they caught the Democrat coronavirus hoax),  edible panties for Valentine’s Day, & travel accessories.

You don’t believe me? That’s fine, I don’t believe anything myself.

Meth not strong enough? Here’s some alternative fair trade coffee!

Relax in a plush robe as you lube up with Turdwaffle lotion!

Fresh out of ideas of what to give that special Marjoe Faylure Gringo in your life?

How about some No Tweet Sweets, a bag full of edible dark chocolate #BeBest panties designed by Melania?

And don’t forget your prized Turdwaffle tavel accessories before you head out to your next hillbilly Nuremberg rally. 

One thing you’ll never see at the Turdwffle store are COVID-preventing masks. We don’t need no stinking masks!