Some Of My Best Friends Are Nazis, Repugnicunt Presidential turdwaffle Challenger Says

Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Word, FL) blasted critics who said he should condemn the Nazi demonstrations that took place in Orlando over the weekend, claiming that antifa and Black Lives Matter operatives were trying to “smear me for something my friends did. You wouldn’t punish a kid for not jumping off a building just because his best friends were doing it, so these people should be giving me a medal for not participating in that peaceful protest to maintain my plausible deniability, which every president needs to know how to use. Where in the Constitution does it say that Nazis have no rights?”

DeSantis was apparently caught off guard by an unvetted question from what was thought to be a thoroughly-screened press corps, asking about Stop The Steal peckerwoods wearing Nazi paraphenalia who screamed condemnation at beaners, bogs, chinks, japs, dinks, slopes, eyeties, kikes, frogs, half-breeds, niggers, spics, kebabs, kimchis, limeys, polacks, ragheads, squaws, wogs, bohunks, gypsies, tramps, & thieves for rigging the 2020 election against twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and DeSantis’s main rival for the Repugnicunt presidential nomination in 2024, Donald J. Turdwaffle.

“Who let that fuckhead in?” DeSantis shouted, as his personal security detail took the offending reporter into custody. “Americans are tired of reporters trying to use my friends and aquaintances as some type of political issue, when we should be focusing on Biden’s runaway inflation, but we’re not playing their game anymore. It’s time we made our own rules, and see how the liberals like it.”

“If Nazis are so bad,” DeSantis asked, “why did we rescue so many of them from Germany after the Second World War? Those Nazis are what made us great.”