The Epsischlong Variant Has America By The Short Hairs In A Hard Place

Repugnicunt lawmakers today declared the Democrat Coronavirus Kung-Flu Hoax officially over after the World Health Organization announced the latest variant of the fake disease appears to work better than Viagra in stiffening electoral dysfunction.

“This is the breakthrough we’ve been waiting for,” said Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Word, OH), as he worked to obstruct President Biden’s agenda while dry-humping Sen Marco Rubbinnit (R-Word-FL). “Finally, America will be able to get back to business without wearing these stupid masks. Is there really anyone who can really complain about free and fair erections?”