Imagine If There Was Some Way To Regulate Who Gets To Engage In A Mass Shooting

Maybe make it a requirement for gun ownership that only people who admit they would have no problem blowing away an elementary school to protect kids from Critical Race Theory and the gays to purchase weapons of mass destruction.

There are so many practical solutions available to our nation of miserable fucks, if we’d just starting thinking outside the pine box, but we have raised so many suicidal pussies, we feel guilty if we don’t provide our fellow losers a quick and easy way out of our supply-side plantation economy when the going gets tough.

So yeah, more American blow their own brains out than go around blasting away at K-12 kids huddling under their desks, but, what the hell, FREEDUMB!

We already have the mechanisms and infrastructure in place to make it too fucking expensive for any but the most well-heeled nimrod to engage in recreational slaughter of unarmed citizens, no matter how stupid, venal, or unformed their beliefs in #AmericanFamilyValues may be. Not all victims are deserving of our concern. That’s just the way life is. Everyone dies, some more violently than others.

Every bullet should cost at least $10. 

There should also be a $10 per bullet deposit, with unclaimed funds earmarked to clean up our daily massacres. Kids and those who currently collect cans and bottles to stay alive, would have a new revenue stream, particularly here in Oregonadia, where the forests are littered with the spooge of you responsible gun owners.

Each person who wants to possess any ammunition must purchase an annual permit for $1,000 and consent to random spot checks of their home and office habitats to ensure compliance.

It goes without saying that any gun owner should pass an owner’s exam for each weapon in a household, with an annual fee for each firearm of $2,000 with all guns registered by serial number.

No household should be able to possess more than 12 rounds, without paying an annual fee of $15 dollars for 13 to 50 rounds, $30 for 51-100 rounds. Anyone found with more than 100 rounds in a household loses all real and personal property through eminent domain, with urban domiciles converted to homeless housing and rural properties deeded to the Nature Conservancy.

Any household convicted of gun violence must surrender all firearms and ammunition and forfeit the right to be within 100 feet of a firearm for a period not to exceed 1`00 years.

Oh yeah, one last piece to solve the puzzle would be to ensure a zero tolerance policy for all gun-related laws and regulations. What? Should zero-tolerance policies only apply to non-violent recreational drug users or people who have slid through the nation’s safety buttcrack?

Gun violence in America is the epitome what happens to a nation of miserable fucks that fervently and religiously insists that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it is a self-evident truth.

I hate this fucking lying shit hole of a country.

You can quote me on that. I won’t walk it back.