Vows To Sue American Muckrakers For Exposé

GOP freshman congresswoman Lorena Boebert (R-Word, CO) vowed to take action against an antifa-aligned PAC she claims made “false and obligatory” revelations about her time as an polish dancer at an NRA-themed strip club.

Boebert, whose birth mother is related by DNA to Shirley Ellis, issued a statement condemning the PAC and its founder David Dealer Wheeler.

“This group’s vile conduct demonstrated why people are fed up with liberals. I am not going to stand by and pretend this is normal behavior,” Boebert wrote on Truth Social. “This political committee, funded by far-left Soros-Democrat donors and run by two antifa-BLM political operatives, published pictures of false statements knowing they were completely flabberghasted. The law on this type of declaration is queer, and this conduct will be subject to civil and criminal penalities as soon as our favorite president is reinstated.”

American Muckrakers has claimed Boebert worked as a whore and had multiple abortions of children sired by suspected Democrats. The accusations were made by a person with close knowledge of where the little bodies are buried but who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to speak for the Boebert campaign.

“I have irredeemable evidence,” Boebert wrote, “that at least one or more of these statements is possibly false, and I know what I’m talking about because the people of Colorado elected me to do the talking.

The beleaguered bimbo added that Wheeler and “his woke goons” might also be criminally liable “under the Second Amendment,” noting that “Colorado law can be used in way that will make your head spin” because it prohibits people from making their elected officials feel uncomfortable.