They’re Canceling Our Great Italian Family Heritage

“In 1492,” Turdwaffle shouted at his rally for Ashli Madison Holden Cawthorn in Lickskillet, NC, “Colombo sailed the ocean blue, and that’s why we celebrate Colombo Day, which was made into a great TV program, not as good as The Apprentice, but it was better than nothing. So now the woke call it Indigent Day, which is as bad as black Santa. You know what? 1942 wasn’t too bad a year for our great heritage either, as we were winning World War 2 on many fronts, like you wouldn’t believe.”

Turdwaffle urged his supporters to insist the Supreme Court “reinstate Colombo Day to honor the brave  American Italians who discovered this country and made it a great place for The Family. Some of my best friends belong to the family. I don’t, but one of these days…”

A group calling itself  The Indignant Itinerant Indigent Indigenous People’s Party staged a brief protest at the rear of the arena before their threat was summarily neutralized, their R 4 Is C U placards trampled under foot as they attempted to escape.