If This Kancel Kulchur Kontinues, Pretty Soon Racists Will Have No Place To Pursue Their Happiness In America!

Suspended Lafayette judge Michelle Bachmann Malkin O’Toole (R-Word, LA) lashed out at “antifa and their allies in the liberal media” this morning after news that her son Olajuwan had been kicked off the LSU track team in retaliation for “our pursuit of happiness, which is guaranteed by the Declaration of January 6.”

O’Toole, no relation to  John Kennedy Toole — author of The Confederacy of Dunces, which predicted the demise of American democracy — claims that LSU’s actions violate whistleblower and HIPAA protections as an act of retaliation “against the family values of the billions of racist Americans who voted for Donald Trump in 2016 & 2020.” 

(Author’s note: Toole was so committed to his Swiftian view of American yahoos that it took him nearly 11 years to convince LSU Press to publish the book, at which time he finally agreed to be buried.)

O’Toole claims operatives of the Democratic National Committee secretly tape-recorded “[her] family rejoicing in the apprehension of a menacing thug who happened to be of the Negro persuasion, through no fault of our own.”

O’Toole did not dispute that she & her son repeatedly referred to the alleged thug as a “nigger” and “a roach,” stressing instead that release of the tape was a violation of her family’s privacy.

She claims to have been under the influence of dopioids and that her son needed treatment for substance abuse which has given him “  form of Tourette’s syndrome that causes him to blurt out things that most proud, patriotic Americans have learned to say only within the confines of their own homes.”

“We must stop these endless attacks on hardworking Americans by the radical left that seeks to portray our heritage and values as somehow less worthy than theirs,” O’Toole said. “This country was founded by slave-owners and genocidal believers in America’s God-given Manifest Destiny, and we’re not going down without a fight.”