Is Always A Good Idea

No good can come of fighting on after you understand that we are all heading to the same place no matter who we ask for directions.

Did you have a choice of the womb you were assigned to, or the continent on which that womb was located, or the assholes who claimed to govern the portion of that continent where your particular uteran delivery device happened to reside?

Really?

What an asshole you must have to house all the nifty thoughts you have.

The secret to life is knowing how to get  the most out of it without actually getting out of it altogether. Take it from me: Justice Alfred Faustroll, & I write the wrongs.

Suicide is a great tool of last resort, but it’s so much more useful when employed to encourage the less fortunate to get our of your light first.

We need more Suicide Invention Hotlines, which is a speciality of the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge & Laundromat. The fact that you are here indicates that you already have more than enough assholes in your life & you’re looking to rid yourself of excess baggage.

We hope you’ll consider our virtual Clinic the Internet-equivalent of the earliest cave paintings, as a resource to help you rid yourself of unnecessary distractions before one day coming to the realization that your perspective was wrong, from the beginning.

Don’t thank us.

We thank you.