Urges GOP Putting The Working Class To Better Use

While not mentioning the previous GOP occupant of the White House by name, Florida’s jive-ass junior Senator told Fox News the Republican Party is now positioned to take advantage of an “enormous opening & opportunity” to revise its narrative & rebrand itself as the uneducated worker party, noting how labor has grown increasingly uncomfortable with the DNC’s anti-white-supremacist messaging. 

“We need to return to the common sense conservatism of our founding fathers as embodied in Ronald Reagan’s supply-side plantation economy and community police state,” the slimy solon let slip during a wide-ranging interview with Jimmy Fellatio on Fox News Radio where he insisted the main problems in America today are the result of attempting to fix things that aren’t broken.

“We haven’t got where we are today by luck alone,” the diminutive legislator remarked when asked what he thinks needs to be done to restore America to its former glorious genocidal, racist roots. “We need to redouble our commitment to Reagan’s supply-side plantation economy & the American family values that are vehemently opposed to the teaching of critical race theory and transexuality in our schools. You don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, unless that’s baby’s cooked, & let me go on record saying this baby is not nearly medium rare yet.”

“These are people that see what’s going on in America, from a cultural and societal standpoint, and they think the left is crazy,” Rubio argued, saying that what the country needs now is a new “political movement that stands on behalf of common sense and individual liberty and defense of traditional values that made the South so great before the War of Northern Aggression.”

"Union leaders are elected by their members," Rubio continued. “And if their members support a political movement, the leaders will follow that. There is an enormous opening and opportunity for the Republican Party because the Democratic Party has abandoned the principles that made America great when we negotiated with the Indians to ensure our manifest destiny & became the leader in cotton-based apparel built entirely by the American working class. The ‘woke’ Democrats will never acknowledge the contributions of low-wage workers to keep our economy working for the rest of us.”

Rubio conceded that the former impeached leader of the party “deserves a lot of credit, because he was able to challenge a lot of the established market fundamentalist ideology that had become orthodox within the GOP, showing that you can be 100% pro-capitalism, but also understand the importance of workers. In my view, this is a return to commonsense conservatism, which is what the party has [always] been about, before it became market fundamentalism,” Rubio said. “He was just building on the greatness of President Ronald Reagan, who fought relentlessly for pro-American policies that help American employers and their valued human resources.”

Rubio has recently been courting the approval of Florida-based unions of uneducated workers. Earlier this month, he voted to protect the Davis-Bacon prevailing wage requirement during deliberations over the CHIPS Act funding. The Davis Bacon Act of 1931 requires all on-site employees to be paid fair wages, benefits and overtime, also known as the “prevailing wage for plantation labor” while working on government-funded construction, maintenance or redesign projects.

“Good, dignified work is critical to the success of the country," Rubio said after taking the vote. “The Confederacy would never have been able to successfully fund the nearly four-year defense of capitalism against the socialist hordes without the labor of those who picked the cotton, who spun the cotton, who turned that cotton into work shirts and jeans. Those hard-working people didn’t complain about injustice. They did their jobs, & we’re all a little better off because of it.”

Rubio told Fox News that his vote was not necessarily in support of unions, but instead “in support of the kind of American workers this country needs more of if it ever hopes to become great again.”