Christians Urge “Eliminating” Gays To Stop Spread Of COVID

Despite their abject failure to rid the planet of homosexuals & other enemies of their church-run state during the Reagan era, when they lobbied the Old Rummy against funding research into the prevention & cure of AIDS by calling it “The Gay Plague” & “God’s Righteous Scourge Against The Sodomites,” the same Nazi pigfuckers are it again following reports that an Israeli lesbian with HIV developed more than 30 variants of COVID during a 7-month bout with the disease. She may have been responsible for developing & unleashing the South African, Indian, & Hebrew COVID variants, among the deadliest currently available.

“It’s bad enough these gays have allowed AIDS to spread among the normal population, a disease which was once spread only by anal intercourse at steam baths, which is now rampant in the chosen population, even among God-fearing Christians that have never even heard of sex,” said Reverend Harry Bolls of The Church Of God The Holy Impaler during an interview on the ONAN news network’s God Bless This Morning. “I told everyone it was a mistake to cure gays back in the 80s, & now look where we are. Not only is the country awash in faggots but they are apparently have acquired immunity against COVID while also serving a viral factories producing thousands of mutations, many of which have been targeting the ignorant & the righteous. It’s an abomination.”

Thankfully, Bolls is committed to finding a final solution to the problem that will both avoid provoking God’s wrath in the future while protecting our vulnerable patriotic & religious populations right now.

“Hunt them down. Round them up. Bring them to justice!” Bolls said. “That’s what God would have wanted,” perhaps letting slip an idea that has been popular among the skeptical for several centuries: God is dead & no longer in a position to save us, so we must rid outrslves of ourselves before it is too late.