Colorado Gun Nut Serenades Glenn Beck

Freshman Colorado congressturd Laurena Boebert has incessantly demanded that we stop misspelling her name in such a way that impressionable uneducated readers might conflate the freshman anti-Fauci-Ouchie activist with the woman who tossed her husband's severed penis onto a sleepy suburban street. “I don’t like penises,” Laurena wrote, as if that mattered.

Boebert, who began her criminal congressional career even before being sworn in when she conducted survelliance for the Proud Boys in preparation for the failed January 6 insurrection, is the exception to the rule that says all publicity is good publicity. The more people hear about Laurena, the more they cup their hands to protect their private parts. She doesn’t seem to care.

Trying to get out in front of rumors that she is being investigated on suspicion of treason, Boebert has been telling everyone that it’s time to start thinking about impeaching every Democrat in the United States. “When you start thinking about impeachment and discussing that,” she told a conservative talk show shill, “Well, do we really want President Harris? Do we really want President Pelosi?”

Boebert then listed all those who would have to be “excised from the deep state” so that this nation of miserable fucks can finally reinstate Donald J. Turdwaffle, as God intended, and while she did not specifically ask the heavily armed uneducated to scratch off  “people on my to-do list,” she did mention the 2nd Amendment at least a dozen times in a two minute statement.