“There’s No Way That Thing Is Real,” Exclaims Bloviating Bony Ass Bitch

Former Fox News and NBC distaff Maury Povich, Megyn “Mo” Kelly was hospitalized in the early hours of September 15, following a rant over Madonna’s Video Music Award’s appearance, where she accused the 63-year-old pop star of wearing a stolen derriere.

“There is 100 percent that that is fake,” Kelly told her hostages, after first insisting that she did not watch the VMAs and didn’t need to know that “there is absolutely no way that that’s her real bottom.”

Kelly denied she engaged in slut-shaming the Queen of Pop, as she continued to rant for nearly 45 minutes until the battery in her service vibrator ran out and she was rushed to Our Lady of Perpetual Rapture to receive an IV to replenish her heaven-scented bodily fluids.