Why Risk The Great Tax Cuts The Russians Gave Us?

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY-Jelly) told reporters at a press gaggle and impromptu circle-jerk on Wednesday that America has already used all the help & good will it needed from the Russians in 2017, when they helped produce the greatest supply-side tax breaks for our beleaguered job-creators since Old Rummy Reagan’s administration dismantled the socialist safety net to make the world safe for kakistocracy.

“My advice to this Socialist government, the president, the House and Senate: don’t play Russian roulette with our encomy,” the Mutant Ninja Turtle from one of our foremost shithole states said. “Step up and raise the debt ceiling and cover all the tax and spend policies that endangered our great capitalist democracy that you’ve been engaged in for the last 100 years. Senate Republicans will not aid and abet this fiscal irresponsibility.”

McConnell, who is desperately fending off attacks by former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and suspected Russian operative Donald J. Turdwaffle, has hired Xe Protection Services (the right-wing paramilitary force formerly known as Blackwater)  to provide 24/7 defense against very fine people on the more militant and heavily-armed Repugnicunt side who have threatened to recall America’s least-liked solon with extreme prejudice.