It Is Not Clear Yet If This Variant Is Ten Times As Deadly

In an attempt to approximate the fairness and reliability of officially credentialed news organizations who feed you your daily pap, we have concocted yet another fully pre-fabricated tale of #TheTerribleSwiftianSword that we promise to be quick to deny knowledge of or responsibility for once it appears in a more reputable publication.

We know how we roll.

Did we attempt to contact anyone who might have actual unbiased information about a topic which may or may not matter in the bigger picture of meaningless things for which humanity is most noted? 

What kind of question is that?

Questions, questions, questions, flooding into the mind of the concerned extinctifying young person today.

Is this particular post a thinly disguised attack on the stupidity of abandoning the future of human civilization to people who don’t have the good sense God gave dried beans or does it mean our owners have finally decided to exercise their option to opt-out of continuing to fund the illusion of democracy to which so many in our nation of miserable fucks are hopelessly addicted?

Is this why cryptocurrencies have suddenly become so important, impotent, or both? Who put the bomp in the bomp, buh-bomp-buh-bomp? Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong? Who put the dips in the dip dip dip di-dip? And exactly who did let this go on so long?