Ryan Zinke Hits For The Cycle In Corruption World Series

Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & America’s funniest living home video, Donald J. Turdwaffle vowed to give former U.S. Interior Sec. Ryan Zinke the Medal of Freedumbocracy this morning “as soon as I’m reinstated,” after reports surfaced that Zinke misused his position to benefit himself with a major development project in his home town, after having already successfully steered a multi-billion dollar contract to one of his friends to rebuild Puerto Rico’s power grid following Hurricane Maria.

“You got to admire the balls on that guy,” Turdwaffle told a couple getting married at his Mar-a-Lago estate. “Not even I would have tried getting away with a scam like those two. He should write a book.”