Accuses Hillary Clinton Of Planting Evidence In His Mouth

Saying no one in history has been prosecuted as much as he has, “not even the pogroms at Foulmouth Rock,” former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & man awaiting trial for anything you got, Dimit Donald Turdwaffle refused to admit he’s been on a losing streak for more than five years.

“I still haven’t conceded,” Turdwaffle noted, “which means, technically, I still have executive privileges, because I’m still technically president, in addition to being white, so why are the democrats wasting so much taxpayer money that could be used for bigger tax cuts?”