I’ve Played Plenty Of Games But I’ve Never Run Up Against So Much Stuff They Don’t Let You Interpret

“I built my career on beating the cheaters,” said former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and Repugnicunt contraceptive Donald J. Turdwaffle during a call to 911 this morning, asking for help in stopping the steal.

“it’s amazing what they do with this Constitution and federal law, believe me,” Turdwaffle fumed. “How is anyone supposed to make America great by playing by these silly rules? The Phillippines don’t play by the rules. North Korea, Indothesia, Russia, China, El Humidor, Saudi Arabia, Nambla  and my other allies don’t obey the Constitution, so why should I, as the greatest leader of the greatest nation on earth, which is what I made it after centuries of Democrat neglect.

“You can’t win a gold medal,” he concluded, “without breaking a bunch of eggs.”