You Didn’t Expect Us To Accept You The Same As We Did That Unqualified White Woman Without A Fight Did You? Well, Did You, Punks?

After refusing to produce her Kenyan long-form birth certificate during the third day of hearings marked by adherence to the newly-implemented viewer-friendly GOP extreme interrogation techniques for non-combatants, Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Leroy Brown smiled like a Cheshire cat as she called Ted Cruz (R-Word, TX) “a nasty-ass cracker bitch not fit to lick the undigested soft chalupa remnants from my unshaven butthole. Here’s winking at you, Ted!” 

According to the latest polls, 83% of semi-conscious Americans found Jackson’s responses to be ROTFLMAO. Only a handful of heavily committed Turdwaffle supporters on ventilators despite having never been vaccinated were surprised at how well Judge Brown could correctly describe Cancun Cruz as the nasty-ass cracker bitch anyone with a functioning brain knows he is in terms anyone with a rudimentary multi-cell central nervous system could understand.

And she did it with her eyes closed and half of her brain tied behind her back like a package of ramen noodles, in an ironic tribute to the aroma and intent of the sacred texts of Rush Limbaugh, the patron saint of this nation of miserable fucks. Google it.

On the other hand, Cruz and his whining GOP allies were quick to dismiss Brown’s comments as “unprofessional and not reflecting well on her judicial temperament, or her parents, particularly should she one day be required to rule on cases where very fine Americans who still adhere to the basic tenets of our great heritage and our shared Anerikkkaner Family Values are on trial because the woke mob is calling for justice, just because their feelings are hurt. Their feelings! Where is the justice for white people like you and me?

Cruz had joined his douchebag colleague Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Word, MO) in accusing Judge “Stoned And All” Jackson of being “a known public defender of terrorists, Democrats, pedophiles, the woke, and traffickers in child pornography with possible, questionable, disputed, or definite ties to Hillary Clinton’s hot and nasty pepperoni sex ring that everyone knows offered young children for dessert at multiple locations of the Pizza Gate franchises in multiple states of undress.”

Sen. Lindsey Lohan Graham (R-Word, SC), a formerly closeted cracker from way back, stormed out of Tuesday’s hearings after Judge Jackson texted him a photo of the formerly spry medical hemorrhoid model in a locker-room shower at Ohio State being humped by Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Word, OH) with the subject line: “I Own The NFT!”

As he was led out by the Sargeant at Arms, Graham shouted: “I don’t care if you all die. You should all just die. Die! I am so tired of this lack of civility by you uppity N-words and liberals who support them. Has no one any respect for the manners and civility of The Old South anymore?  We may have owned slaves, but we were never rude! I hate you! I hate you all! You can go tickle your asses with feathers! You can go to Hell!”

It was an amazing display of how great America has become, without anyone having to mention the former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and ambulatory superfund site. You know the guy, right?

Through it all, Judge Brown appeared to be stifling — not giggles — but the deep, rumbling, belly-busting, knee-slapping guffaws of cosmik debris, as she deftly twisted her judicial fondue fork in the cracker barrel defense of the kind of past criminal behavior the GOP and the proudly uneducated continue to dismiss as Critical Race Theory (CRT). 

Meanwhile, of course, they have determined that what the American voter wants is less access to the ballot box, by ensuring that the only people who can navigate the gauntlet of supply-side democracy and cast a ballot that won’t immediately be challenged and tossed by some asshole who’s only doing this as a favor to some other asshole after a perfect phone call, so that eventually  you’ll have to pay for a ballot like you do for a tee-time, and the elections will finally be secured to prevent the worst person in your immediate family from being discomforted.

You know the one.

The respectable cunt.