Trump Ain’t Got No Daddy!

Longtime Repugnicunt propagandist Franklin Lloyd Lungzfisk claims that GOP leadership has been pinning virtual “Kick Me” notes to the back of the Chinese-made golf attire worn by former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and fierce ally of Russian president Vlad The Impudent, Dimwit Grabito Pussolini , while he’s making up stories about his heroic feats on the links and falsifying his score card.

Just last week, Gov. Chris Sununu (R-Word, NH)  told a knee-slapping crowd of mainstream moderate Nazis at a Gridiron Club dinner in the nation’s Capitol that “[Trump is] fucking crazy. Maybe not so crazy you could lock him up for all the batshit crimes he commits on national television on a daily basis, but no one can disagree that if the fat fuck were already in restraints, there’s no way responsible adults would release his insane ass to further endanger human life on the planet.”

Lungzfisk pointed to dwindling crowds at the former führer’s hillbilly klan rallies as a clear indicator Diaper Don doesn’t have the same appeal to “his heavily-armed uneducated base” that he still had as recently as a year ago, before COVID drastically thinned the ranks of the raucous bubbas and bubbettes that helped him lead a four-year reign of domestic terror against peaceful protestors.

“During his time in office, the life span of the average American fell by more than three years,” Lungzfisk added, “with the loss of longevity among Trump’s most ardent supporters declining by an astounding nine years and eleven months. Not since Typhoid Mary has one person unleashed such carnage among ordinary citizens.”

“Any remaining pre-Reagan Republicans,” Lungzfisk concluded, “are done with Donald Trump and his lies — except for the few straggling long COVID survivors who still show up to cheer his stupidity in person or send him money from their unemployment checks to prop up his largely fictitious business empire.”