Former Führer Vows To Stand His Ground Against Democrat Insurrectionists

Vowing to take no prisoners in his fight to be reinstated with the full inalienable rights and executive privileges due a direct descendent of America’s supreme Christian Founding Fathers, former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & only president ever to pay Russian hookers for Golden Showers with charitable donations, Donaldo Grabito Pussolini told a gaggle of uneducated supporters at his Bedminster golf course “no one has ever been more prostituted than your favorite president, so I understand your concern for my well-being.”

Sorry to cut this short but there’s several recent mass shootings I need to make jokes about.