I Too Have A Dream Where Even Ivanka Asks Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Fresh off his triumphant Arizona Rally For MAGA Reinstatement that raised nearly half a million dollars to help cover the mounting legal fees from his failed coup attempt, former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & all-around Repugnicunt rabble-rouser Donald J. Turdwaffle e-mailed supporters an “I Have A Dream” message this morning, promising to match donations by up to 10 times face value in honor of Rodney Luther King Day.

“On this great anniversary of Rodney Luther King’s great speech in 1962 right here at Mar-a-Lago, which proved the value of drawing huge crowds to make America great,” Turdwaffle’s e-mail began, “Our great Save America For Americans PAC today has announced an incredible new way for patriotic patriots to show their patriotism by saving America, while also earning a chance to win a dinner with your favorite president at Mar-a-Lago on MAGA Reinstatement Day,, which is coming very soon.

“The fake media keeps talking about The Big Lie, but The Big Lie is really just a huge stinking pile of progressive bullshit, and nowhere is that more clear than today, when we celebrate our dreams with those of our great Black Americans, like Frederick Douglass & and Ye, who used to be Kanye, who is a good friend, even though he tried to steal votes from me in 2020, because that’s what friends are for, but I forgive him.

“His heart is in the right place, because we have had more destruction, I think, than five presidents put together in the last year, and until we have as much money as the Democrats, they will continue to persecute us for practicing our freedom of speech, which is why God gave us the Second Amendment & the Ten Commandments to protect us.

“Can you believe they talk about all the great people that walked down to the Capitol on January 6 so peacefully like they were antifa or MS-13? but they weren’t. They were very fine people, just like you, who are still protesting the stolen election. They cannot silence you. They cannot replace you.

“The fake media doesn’t talk about the immense size of that crowd on January 6. It was huge, a real monster. Even the Democrats admit it was the largest crowd in hundreds of years, maybe thousands, which is what makes them so scared.

"They’re scared of you, because they hate your freedoms. I believe it was the largest crowd anyone has ever seen since my African Americans marched on Washington for the Dream Team, which didn’t have any white people on it, by the way, or very few. I don’t watch soccer that much anymore, not since the miracle or ice, do you?

“But on this holiest of all political days, I can tell you all that I get it. I understand the American people better than anyone. I was brought up with American family values, as was my father before him, and my mother, and I know you are tired of the current president, who has done more damage to this country than any five presidents I could name, but I won’t give them the satisfaction.

“So join me in our mission to Make America Great Again, Again by sending what you can to Save America For Americans, and I promise that any amount you contribute will be matched to more than 800% by great patriots, whose names you wouldn’t recognize, who don’t want to claim any credit, but they’re good for it. You can trust them to do the right thing. 

“Are you willing to let the Democrats destroy our country by taking away your guns & religion and killing your babies? They’re doing things like you wouldn’t blieve, believe me. Can you believe they are still killing babies? I didn’t think so. Join me & we will win this thing for Rodney Luther King!”