3-Year Old Has Been NRA Member Since Mom Was Impregnated

Callng the parking lot shooting a tragic accident, officials in Doltville, IL, today refused to release the identity of an infant who fired several rounds into his mother after she failed to get him a box of Skittles at a neighborhood Food For Less.

The child was wearing a MAGA cap and military style camouflage pajamas when he was taken into custody.

Unnamed sources with no business commenting on the situation identified the boy as Donald J. Kushner. “He was named after the former president,” the witness said, “before the whole insurrection thing, not that that was so bad. I don’t want to get in trouble with my neighbors.”

The Kushner family made news in 2017 when they applied for a concealed carry permit for little Donald while his now deceased mother, Ivanka Kushner, was in her first trimester.

While the permit was denied, Mrs. Kushner was still in the appeals process at the time of her death, insisting to ONAN, Newsmax, and Fox News that “this is a matter of protecting our God-given Second Amendment rights that shall not be abridged, not even by Reader’s Digest.”