Calls Climate Change A Threat To America’s Great Lawns

Citing statistics showing more than 95% of the world’s lawn care specialists live and work in the USA, The International Turf Tenders have threatened to withhold campaign contributions from Joe Manchin (Dumb F-Word, WV) and Kirsten Sinema (Dumb F-Word, AZ) until they “do something about these woke assholes in California who are taking away our livelihoods by instituting water rationing that will make America’s great lawns look like shit, and for what? What good is saving the planet if we don’t have good jobs and fine lawns for our children to play on?”