Illegal Interstellar Incursions Are Nothing New Says Paleoncologist

In a complete surprise to residents of South Dakota, the recent discovery of perfectly preserved dinosaur pilots in Tanis indicates that North Dakota does indeed exist, despite several well-documented expeditions into the mysterious region during the past two centuries having only returned with inconclusive evidence of Canada.

“My gramma used to whisper stories about this North Dakota where the dinosaurs roamed,” Missy Loubra said, “but we never paid her much mind after she caught the dementia from the vaccine back in during the Democrat pandemic.”

Although most established science accepts that the dinosaur extinction occurred when an enormous asteroid struck a pod of diplodoctopus food carts near the Yucatan penisula, renegade paleoncologist Brian DiPalma insists the extinction was caused by the united refusal of millions of dinosaurs around the globe to negotiate with their would-be conquerors, choosing instead to fight to the last drop of saurian blood and rendering the planet uninhabitable for thousands of generations to come.

Kind of like where we are with this never-ending War of Terror today.