Former Twice-Impeached Unindicted Co-Conspirator Says He’s Still Being Treated Unfairly

Failed führer Grabito Pussolini reminded a wedding reception at his Doral Golf Resort this morning that since he never conceded the 2020 election he is technically more qualified to be president than “Sleepy Joe The Schmoe, who messed up Ukraine like you wouldn’t believe,” issuing a veiled threat to GOP leadership that he may not spend any the war chest he has amassed in his Save America PAC on the mid-term elections unless he is reinstated or given the Nobel Peace Prize.

“Aren’t you tired of all these lazy do-nothing politicians,” Pussolini asked the happy revelers while grabbing the new bride’s pussy, “who promise you loyalty and then try to fuck you up the ass when you bend over to tie some little girl’s shiny patent leather shoelaces?”

Pussolini, who has raised more than $131 billion since leaving office because even the fake rich can do whatever the fuck they want in our nation of miserable fucks through aggressive e-mail marketing campaigns that promise his uneducated supporters the chance to win an autographed MAGA cap in return for a donation of $30 a month in perpetuity.

This marks a clear change in tactics for the twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator who is currently being fined $10,000 a day for contempt of court in New York and is under investigation by more than 300 jurisdictions on criminal and civil complaints in this solar system alone.

Experts express admiration that the America’s most prolific crook is able to get away with everything he does, even after being thrown out of office, considering that he is no longer able as he did during four years in the White House to promise pardons and cushy appointments to high-paying positions in the alternative patronage sector of our supply-side plantation economy  in exchange for a monthly fee.