Moon’s South Pole-Aitken Basin May Conceal Solar System’s First Chuck E. Cheese Location

A gargantuan structure has been discovered on the dark side of the moon, buried more than 180 miles beneath the moon’s perpetually frozen South Pole.

Researchers from Baylor University in No New Texas, USA, initially thought the shape identified from NASA satellite data was the remnants of an asteroid from the Isis constellation that struck on September 11, 4 billion years ago.

Competing scietists at Southern Methodist University challenged the Baylor findings, arguing that the radio signature of the oddly shaped metallic lump suggests it is likely wreckage of an enormous space ark from the Noah Nebula which was originally intended to land on Earth and populate it with adoring subjects of a God whose name has been lost in the shifting shits of time.

Meanwile, a crack team of paleo forensic telemtry experts at the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge & Laundromat argue the discovery is much more exciting than the staid academic institutions have let on.

“Everyone grows up knowing the moon is made out of cheese,” said Dr. Mildude Dampfass, director of the clinic’s imaginary propulsion laboratory, “until the notion is completely beaten out of us by American Family Values and perverted Christian horseshit. Discovery of the original Chuck E. Cheese on the dark side ocf the moon will help to shed more light on how our great supply-side plantation economy got its inauspicious start on an inhospitable space rock, not unlike our own.”