Am I Not Just Another American Who Can Grow Up To Be President?

Citing her abysmal approval ratings following her universally panned performance under oath during her duelling defaqmation trial with Johnny Depp, consummate actress Amber Heard (R-Word, #MeToo), announced formation of an exploratory committee to consider primarying former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and #AmericanFamilyValues role model, Grabito Pussolini, in a quest to “prove that the American Dream is still alive, and anyone can grow up to be present, no matter how unfair our justice system is to innocent victims of imaginary abuse.

“And anyway,” Heard posted to Truth Social, “I really need the cash more than that evil insurrectionist does. You’ll never see me bragging about grabbing pussy. I prefer throwing bopttles.”