A President Doesn’t Need To Ask Because He’s Commander In Chief

Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and Ivanka’s alleged first lay, Grabito Pussolini, took to his personal blog this morning to deny he ever asked former vice president Mike “ e’ll Eat Anything” Pence to overturn the 2020 presidential election results on Jan 6, as Pussolini’s crazed supporters stormed the Capitol chanting “Hang Mike Pence!”

“Such LIES LIES & MISREPRESENTATION by the Unselects,” Pussolini screamed at Siri in a futile attempt to stifle a fart, “and absolutely nobody allowed to challenge what is being said. Whatever happened to the equal time doctors? As an example, I never asked V.P. Pence to ‘overturn’ the election (although Thomas Jefferson told Frederick Douglas I could take the Georgia votes if I really wanted to). A president doesn’t need to ask, because he’s the Commander In Chief and what he says goes. If I had lost the election, I would have conceded, but I never have, so technically I’m still president, just waiting to be reinstated by the Supreme Court.

Pussolini went on to claim that anything a president says is a direct order that must be obeyed, but that he “never had to order anyone to overturn the election, because, frankly we did win the election on November 3 by a wide margin, and it was only after the illegal mail-in ballots coming across the southern border were counted that Sleepy Joe even got within 8 million votes of my landslide.

“All I did was order Mother’s Boy to send the votes back to the Legislatures where I had obviouisly won so that they could determine if the irregularities and Fraud were as widespread and signficant as everyone knew they were.”

Pussolini concluded his Truthiness by saying the country needs to reinstate him before the midterms, so his team “can hit the ground running in 2023 and undo all this woke madness. America wasn’t broke until Biden and antifa tried to fix it.”