Published by drfaustroll under Pataphysics February 23,2009

Reality check: The world is not your apple. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom precludes a quest for power. Power is not justified. Respect must be earned, no matter what Arthur Miller believed, assuming that dumb phuck actually believed a phart’s portion of what he wrote, because he was human, after all, and humans must be forgiven for occasionally believing in things, although everything they experience indicates that belief is folly, counter-productive, and usually leads to evil excesses, such as, oh, I don’t know — how about incidental genocide or targeted collateral damage?

I realize that some visitors to this site are sometimes confused about my intention. I have no intentions. If you have a problem with intentional fallacy, read some T. S. Eliot. My posts are generally directed like arrows that I have no intention of picking up toward random targets.

Bring your own flak jacket or play somewhere else. As an old buddy of mine once described reality, “You don’t have time to determine if the body you’re tromping over is still alive because your boots made the body oomph when you’re running toward someone who is begging for help.”

Have you ever begged for help? I haven’t, except occasionally to the gods I don’t believe in to let me die. Obviously those phuckers have not been forthcoming with assistance.

Let’s be serious for a second, people, on a blog that is based on the pataphysical assumption that nothing matters because of what Einstein could no longer understand when he died. What is that? I have no idea. I haven’t reached that level of misunderstanding yet, but that is my goal: to misunderstand exactly what the universe is and die with a big hard-on to demonstrate a firm grasp of reality and a smile on my face.

I suspect that the big question in the mind of my readers is this: Can Obama bring a smile to my face? My question is: If not, why not?

So what kind of day are you having? I suspect it is not nearly so stressful as the one Biraq Hussein Obama is having and has been having for several idiotic days because the NOMPH so thoroughly needs several little nuclear bombs launched against known right-wingnut terrorists who have been operating within the terroritorial boundaries of the United States for at least two decades.

Last night I watched Snakes on a Plane, and I suspect Biraq has also watched that movie or he wouldn’t have run against Hillary Clinton. If he hasn’t, he should. Everything he is facing was outlined perfectly in that movie from the initial baseball beating execution of some chump prosecutor who was set up by the prison-industrial complex through to the perfectly logical decision on the part of the Samuel L. Jackson character to open a couple of windows and let some air in to the cramped compartment we have come to know and love as the nation of miserable phucks (NOMPH™).

You listening, Biraq? I am witchu, dude. Let’s bring this bird down to earth and put all them illegal reptile smugglers behind bars with the entire previous administration and all of the straggler Republicrats who were too blind to see that the tsunami in Afghanistan is not going to be half as thorough as tracking down and capturing and trying all those Karl Marx-Rovian neocondi rice and beaner scumbuckets included on the short term list of atrocities the NOMPH must atone for.

What? What? Oh, you’re right. My apologies. It won’t happen again until next time.

This post was supposed to be about the e-mails we’ve been getting at the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat since agreeing to some terms of serivce at Today.com. Sometimes it is hard to stay focused.

Just ask Biraq, going into week five of the death spiral. It’s so sad to see an administration that began with such promise devolve into name calling by fecalpates and phuckwads who should be disciplined with extreme prejudice until their gene pool is no longer a pestilence.

Oh shit. How do I edit that after it’s already been published? Help me Jesus. Help me Garp.

Coming soon: The NOMPH gets stupider and uglier and takes your friends on vacation, but that’s OK because you’re doing all right and getting good grades.