Originally published by drfaustroll under Blather, Invective, Kommerce and Kulchur, Literary Terrorism, Pataphysics, Poopadoodle, Sedition February 16, 2009

Is anybody ever going to forgive William Jefferson “Slick Willie” Clinton for getting jiz stains on the Persian rug in the Oral Office that was a gift from The George Bernard Shah of Iran to Richard “Slippery Dick” Nixon?

Hell, Monica “The Devilish Kneepads” Lewinski had a blue dress that would have fetched enough from The Fantastic Fourtility Clinic to rescue Lehman Brothers if she hadn’t loaned it to Linda “Fat Lips” Tripp, but the liberal media troglodytes are still obsessed with blaming everything that happened during the past eight years on the Clinton and Carter administrations, because the NOMPH™ is nothing if not committed to policies, procedures, and self-destructive dogma best summed up as woodenheadedness.

I first used the lines from Barbara Tuchman’s March of Folly under the dedication to Clint Eastwood in The One Minute President, which I co-wrote with Paul Fericano back when Reagan was the first idiot and the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet, even though he couldn’t recall supplying right wing death squads with illegal weapons so he could funnel money to the Iranians to pay off the bribes his campaign officials made to keep the American hostages under arrest until inauguration day.

Here’s the quote from Babs, in its entirety: Wooden-headedness, the source of self-deception, is a factor that plays a remarkably large role in government. It consists in assessing a situation in terms of preconceived fixed notions while ignoring or rejecting any contrary signs. It is acting according to wish while not allowing oneself to be deflected by the facts. It is epitomized in a historian’s statement about Philip II of Spain, the surpassing woodenhead of all sovereigns: “No experience of the failure of his policy could shake his belief in its essential excellence.”

Anyone surprised that bipartisanship is impossible? The NOMPH is predicated on woodenheadedness. It requires obsequious genuflection to the liberal media, which is, of course, not liberal at all. If I remember correctly, Eric Arthur Blair published 1984 in 1949, but I doubt that there will be any celebrations and commemorations of that book on June 8, which is, after all, the birth date of Frank Lloyd Wright and the expiration date of Alan Turing.

So eight years after Bill Clinton left office and was blamed for removing all the W’s from all the keyboards in the White House, Time Magazine couldn’t help fingering Mr. Bill for an economic collapse clearly caused by the spend and give tax breaks to the rich Republicrats who have controlled the purse strings of the nation for a couple of decades.

As it turns out, Time wants everyone to think that the worldwide economic collapse was caused by two Clinton initiatives which allowed commercial and investment banking to operate by the same rules and signing the Commodity Futures Modernization Act which exempted derivatives from federal regulation. Should I mention that these ideas were championed and pushed to the Fat Idiot’s desk by Republicrats? Of course not. That wouldn’t fair, according to Rush “Hop Head” Limbaugh, Sean “Dick Face” Hannity, and Bill “Babalu” O’Reilly.

So Fat Bill is now on the hook for signing into law the kinds of deregulation he couldn’t afford to risk a veto override on because he had big enough problems in his pants. I understand that many Republicrats were really most upset by the stimulus package Clinton always flaunted during face to face meetings.

So there you have it. It’s time to put the last eight years behind us and go after the real villian, the guy responsible for September 11, the guy who never quite understood the savings and loan crisis, the guy who didn’t get Osama bin Laden, the guy who preferred a good blow job to blowing the country off.