Cancellation Comes After Two Hour Reload Delay

Calling the situation “a travesty,” last night’s game between the Wampee Fallen Warriors & the Honea Path Murder Hornets was cancelled by league officials, following a day of prolonged skirmishes between passionate fans angered by the officiating. “Our first priority is keeping our players and fans safe,” said High School Intramural Commissioner Jeffrey Weinstein, in explaining the decision to cancel the game. 

“Things has just gotten so out of hand,” Weinstein stressed, “We are running out of hospital capacity just from unvaccinated COVID patients. We can’t spare the beds right now.”

This was the 43rd incident of gunfire interrupting spectator sports on America’s ball parks this week, with forecasters predicting a 50% chance of random fussilades across the United States for several weeks ahead.