“It’s The Least I Can Do,” Says Abdul Ghani Baradar

The Taliban wasted no time Tuesday thanking President Trump & US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo for brokering last year’s peace agreement that saw the US release more than 5,000 imprisoned fighters in exchange for “not doing anything that would jeopardize the president’s reelection campaign.”

“We can’t wait to welcome our good friend President Trump to celebrate this great victory for the people of Afghanistan,” said Mullah Akhundzada, “We helped assure his great election victory by signing his peace deal & now he will no doubt transform our Kabul Golf Club into a world class golf course & currency exchange as a favor in return.” 

It seems almost a shame that Donald J. Turdwaffle lost the presidency in a landslide last November & couldn’t be standing in front of reporters today saying things like “So I said, ‘Yeah. So it’s person, woman, man, camera, TV.’ OK. That’s very good. If you get it in order, you get extra points.”

Instead, Sleepy Joe Biden gets to bask in the warm glow of Turdwaffle’s monumental accomplishment of ending another one of those Repugnicunt wars we shouldn’t have authorized to begin with.